5 Essential Tips for Online Dating Success
No replies to your emails? Too few profile views? Try these 5 important online dating tips.
Use good pictures
There are thousands of people looking for love online, and there is going to be someone similar to you who has better pictures. And they are going to get the person you want. If you want to meet good people, you need to have good pictures. It’s that simple.
Your photos need to be clear and recent. Your dark, artsy photos are great as a supplement, but potential matches need to see what you look like in the light, without a hat, and without sunglasses. He or she needs to see you close up (a headshot), and from a little distance (a full length shot). If they can’t see what you really look like, you’re not going to engage their interest.
Write to people who are looking for someone like you
It is important to remember that online dating is not the same as online shopping. When you’re shopping, you can pick out whatever you like and make it yours. When you’re dating online, the person you choose actually has some say in the matter.
Before you take the time to compose your message, look through their profile and try to view things from their perspective. Would he or she want to date you? Of course you’re great, but are you a great match for them? Do you fit all, or most, of what they are looking for? And are you in their desired age range?
Women in particular often receive messages from men who seem to overlook the preferences they’ve stated in their profiles. “Funny, I didn’t think my age would be an issue.” Really? Did you read the part where I listed the age range with which I’m comfortable? Last I checked, 50 is not in the set of numbers from 30-44. “Maybe I can win you over with my charm!” Or, maybe you could write to the fabulous 50-year-old women on this site who are clearly underappreciated.
We have several tools to help you find people of interest, including “Mutual Match” search features to identify the people who are looking for someone like you. But if you insist on writing to those who aren’t, keep in mind that the site also has e-mail filters to automatically send your messages to a special folder for unwanted mail, based on your age, height, location, and a few other criteria.
Don’t tease someone you don’t know
It comes off as insulting: “Congrats on your (mostly) sane answers.” Mostly sane? And which answers do you deem insane, oh wise one? That I wouldn’t let a dog sleep in my bed? Or perhaps that I think it is a choice, not an obligation, for a woman to shave her legs? Oh wait; I don’t really care what you think. I’m going to reply to this other guy. He has better pictures.
Ask relevant questions
This means you have to read their profile, and pay attention to what you read. Don’t offer to help her fix her bike, when the story in her profile is about her success in fixing her bike. Don’t ask him what he likes to do for fun, when he has already filled out the profile section that says “For fun I like to…”
Although it takes the same attention, this should be much more interesting than the reading comprehension assignments you hated in high school. The reward here is a potential match which could lead to so much more. It’s worth paying attention to what you read. The questions you ask should be interesting to you, and personal enough to connect to them: “Your holiday photos are fantastic! What was your favourite part of the trip?”
Don’t be a nuisance
While you are waiting for your potential match to reply, get on with your busy life. Don’t look at their profile to see if they have logged in. Don’t hover over your sent mail folder to see if they've read your message. Remember that you don’t know this person at all, and you shouldn’t have any expectations of when he or she should reply.
It's also important to remember that if you’re using the [SITE_NAME] mobile app, e-mailing members can be as quick and easy as texting. But remember that each message you send shows up as an individual e-mail. It is quite alarming to open an e-mail thread and see several unread messages from a person you barely know! Take the time to compose your thoughts into one e-mail, rather than several separate messages.
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